My Happy Place

Right now the weather outside is everything but delightful...rainy, a little cold...but I'm in my happy place! It is warm, fuzzy feeling, butterflies fluttering, sunshine being golden....yeah, it can be that GOOD! I feel sooo happy and good about where I am in my life right now! So many reasons to be blessed and not enough not to be! When I wrote the following poem, initially, I was sad...in a place where I wasn't sure how to feel about me...but towards its finishing, I began to arrive in a 'happy place'. Hope you see it that way as well...enjoy! And find your Happy Place today.

To know Myself is to love Myself

To know myself is to love myself
But as a walking contradiction
How can I know...?
Within, I still feel like a shy one, who felt that the skin she was in, wasn't the IN kind of skin.
Fading into black, being ever the sweet.
Beauty and love in the eye of it's beholder is what I seek.

Part of me is shattered, this I do know.
In need of hope, empowerment, understanding, inspiration, and more patience than I have.... Something that your love might not can provide.
I need to release my heart, if you are to come in.
Forgive myself for the pain I sent it through, when it did fall in love once upon the last time.
Fearful of falling again, but fearful not to.
Time moves on, I trust in that I loved me to know that I was in need of more.

Looking at a mirror but seeing the differences in what I am as I stand and what I am staring back at.
Acceptance of flaws and uphold to enhance, compliment.
Unconditionally, unselfishly give unto the favor I deserve and seek. No more wanting it to come from you.
More meaningful when my alter ego gives in...
Letting go and pardoning us for her past transgressions.
Admitting that we are one and becoming stronger...
When she appears, she hides behind words still.
She needs to let go of the anger that beholds.
Seek permission to love again. To believe in love...Starting with the within.

Faithful in the journey, I am striving to become.
Listening to soul and wisdom.
Sit still, be quiet, and let life happen as it should.
Wanting warmth to wrap peace over all the pieces scattered sinfully.
Face the world whole, no longer dismantled
Believing in pretty promises made through an insatiable sanity of a desire to live life in an extraordinary existence.
Deciding on defining my next decade as becoming a Phoenix rising among the lotus flowers
Renewal, rebirth of my tranquility, serenity
Unearthing who I am to myself... And beginning to understand what falling in love with her is about.

Passion

I'm always at a wonder about the things that I am and become passionate about. I also wonder often about the passions of others...how do you discover your passions?

Passion

Find it in
Hope
Life

Find it in
Thunderstorms
Whirling winds

Find it in
Faith
Love

Find it in
Warm caresses
Fiery kisses

Find it in
Justice
Righteousness

Find it in
Setting suns
Rising moons

Passions override foundations
Of consciousness
Overtake awareness of present
In order to give the future life.

Reveal it in
Patience
Worth

Reveal it in
Pumping of fists
Quickening of hearts

Reveal it in
Fire
Wrath

Reveal it in
Tightiest of embraces
Weight of decisions

Reveal it in
Your presence
Your desires

Reveal it in
Breaths taken
Moments created

Reveal it in
Rising suns
Setting moons

Passions override foundations
Of consciousness
Overtake awareness of present
In order to give the future life.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cherish each moment

Today has been a day of a heavy heart. More visuals are flooding in about the devastation in Haiti. I knew it was bad....but wow! My mind and eyes were trying to comprehend and process it all. But my poor heart broke and I cried.
The bottom line is that we are human first and we have to help each other. Come together and make sure we can help rise above the adversities of life.
This unfortunate event also makes me want to do a better job in embracing and cherishing everyone close to me as well as others. Don't wait to tell any and maybe everyone you know that you care about them. Don't wait to do for others. Don't wait to love the moments we are in. For as one of my fav quotes says, " life is not measured in the amount of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away." Create and cherish more of those moments with those that mean so much to you! Tomorrow is not promised. But we can face it a little better when we know we are not alone!
Do something to support Haiti... We are one.
Peace, love, life



Pic by Mario Lathan
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Love Letter

Back in the day, most of my relationships began with a simple note of "Be my girl? Check yes, no, or maybe" Once yes was checked...it began! It was so simple and sweet.
Then as I grew older, found new loves, heart broken and mended over again. Through it all, I received some of the best and loving of love letters and little notes. Even one ex took time to pen his affectionate words on beautiful paper he bought specifically for letters to me. During this time, I think that's when my love for love began.
As time continues on, we are submitting ourselves to some quick text messages and emails.... Gone are the days of the traditional, paper love letter. Where the author spent time on finding the right words to express himself. Gone are the days when my heart would flutter when I recieved a love letter in the mail. Gone are the days when I would find clever ways to respond to them.
Wow... I truly miss love letters! And even still I hope those days are not truly gone!
Write a love letter to someone today...express yourself! Hope I get one too! Smile :)
Peace, love, life



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Shortie...

 

Soulful Union

When we make love, it is a union of our souls.

Upon entrance into my temple of intimacy,

 our souls come upon one another.

With each rhythmic caress, they dance ceremoniously with

joy and kiss with tenderness until…

They summit into a culmination, convening, and merging into singularity.

Cabin Fever

When you are "stuck" inside during inclement weather, there are bouts of cabin fever that you may experience. Well, that is me today. But I also began to reflect on times when I was "stuck" in a situation and the feelings I had about that.
I wanted to find anything or anyone that could give me an excuse or way to leave. I would think of all the things I could be doing or people I could be seeing. But you know the being stuck might be for a reason. Now I understand that God wants you still! Your cabin fever is so you learn or think of alternatives, better ways to handle your situation, and even some patience! That can be powerful!
So as much as I'm hating this cabin fever today, I know in the big picture of things, it's for a reason and I need to enjoy it! Sigh...
Peace, love, life


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The other side....

The Words of a Poet (Wanna-be)

Words flood my mind and dreams

Bringing me out of sleep to scribe them.

To nurture them to life.

Purpose? They are a Purpose.

To inspire

To evoke

To confront and conquer

To make everyone aware of them.

The words of a poet (wanna-be).

Power of the pen and paper.

Projects unwinding.

Words written in fancy books, plain script.

My pen seems to always send love messages.

Betraying the whispers of my heart and head for all to see.

Can't hide behind my words for only so long.

They say we empower you.

We are your voice.

We are a meaning for living.

With them I trade one slavery for another kind.

Laboring forth words for the redemption of my soul, love, and wisdom.

Giving glory ot a kingdom beyond me.

My tongue speaking truths that bind me to the craft.

Freedom to move from my sub-consciousness to draft to reality.

The words of a poet (wanna-be).

In love with it, I can't escape.

If it kidnapped me, I wouldn't care.

To be in the presence of such creativity is a honor

that I wouldn't pass.

Search far and wide over the landscape I will go.

For the expressive ebbs and flows I want to know.

The more I write, the more I crave.

The sunshine of my days and stars of my nights.

Its temptation as a sweet as agave

When I surround myself with kin thinkers and shapers of verse.

Push further they say, reach your depths and it will purge forth.

More I begin to see that these words are of a poet (wanna-be).

Courtney (1/2010)

The Biggest Part

Anyone that knows me knows that my family is very important to me. And that also Includes the family I have chosen... My friends.
However, there are some very key people that have contributed to my story in ways that they may never know.
One person I want to thank is my sister.
My sister is my absolute best friend! She knows me more than she knows and is the woman I want to be when I grow up. She is so knowledgable of any and everything. She is beautiful and her spirit is even brighter. She loves her family with such strength and conviction. She mothers her children unconditionally. She is a wife that upholds the virtues of a godly woman.
I don't think I've ever told her how important her wind has been in my soaring. There has not been a time that I have not needed her. Whether it was for some random fact, celeb gossip, picking me up off the floor when my heart has been broken, or anything at all. In all honesty, I probably wouldn't step out of my comfort zone if it wasn't for her. She is indeed inspirational.
She has saved my life. I thank her for that and more. So you see, she is one of the biggest parts of my story. The why and what of how I do what I do. Love you for that Sistie!
Peace, love, life!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

This blog...My story

Life is a story. At times you may even feel that a major film that you are starring in. For me, my life is like this never ending story that I keep reading! Some days it bores me and others it is so exciting and becomes a page turner!
I love the life I am living. Often, I look for beautiful random moments that give me a new perspective of my life as a means to fulfill my purpose. Those moments I consider my BOFAs.... Breaths of fresh air.
Over the past year and a half, I have shared some of those moments with you. I want to now continue that but also add more. In the coming posts, you will see more of the story that I live... More of my bofas...
Indulge me and I hope it becomes an indulgence for you. I hope that it inspires you to look more at the story your life is writing...it creates freedom!
Peace, love, life!

The things to bring in 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

The excitement of the new year is pulsing through my mind and body! I am looking at this new year as a great beginnning and the only resolution that I will seek to fulfill is to keep the excitement I feel right now!
I know that there are a few things I would like to focus on, but will not beat myself up about through the year.
The things I want to bring in 2010 are:
1. More positivity, more productivity
2. Enjoying life and finding more happiness in it.
3. Wellness of body, and spirituality.

Through these things I believe that I can achieve some projects I want to work on and acheive this year.
I am also not looking at only improving in this year, but also over this new decade! I want to redefine it in a way that will be good for myself and others. What will you make sure that 2010 holds for you? What will you bring into it to make it the best?